We’ve all seen the videos: someone opens a big, wrapped box on Christmas morning and out tumbles a tiny puppy, all paws and kisses. The room explodes with laughter and happy tears.
Honestly, who doesn’t love puppies? The soft fur, the wiggly bodies, that sweet puppy breath, what could be better?
But most of us know the truth: that little fluff ball grows into a full-sized dog with a big personality and an even bigger place in our hearts. What we don’t always think about is the very end of the story, the day they’re no longer with us, and how that changes everything… especially the holidays.
For me, that reality hits hardest when I decorate our Christmas tree.
Our tree tells our family story: ornaments from trips we’ve taken, my daughters’ handmade treasures, tiny snowmen made from their baby socks. It’s beautiful… until my eyes land on the ornaments with our dogs’ names and photos, Riley, Penny, and Winston. In an instant, the joy mixes with a tight throat and teary eyes, and I’m right back to missing my pups who’ve been gone for years.
Maybe you have your own version of this, an empty bed in the corner, a stocking that isn’t hanging anymore, a house that feels just a little too quiet.
If that’s you, you’re not alone. Here are some gentle ways to take care of your heart during the holidays after losing a pet.
1. Let Your Feelings Be Welcome at the Table
The holidays come with a lot of pressure to be “merry and bright.” Grief doesn’t care about that.
You might feel sad one minute and okay the next. You might find yourself tearing up at a song, or feeling oddly numb while everyone else is laughing.
That doesn’t mean you’re doing the holidays “wrong.” It means you loved your pet deeply.
Give yourself permission to say:
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“It’s okay that I miss them.”
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“It’s okay if this year feels different.”
You’re allowed to step out of the room, to cry, to laugh, or to do all of the above in the same hour.
2. Create Simple Rituals to Honor Your Pet
You don’t have to pretend your pet never existed in order to get through the holidays. In fact, small, meaningful rituals can make the season feel more bearable.
A few ideas:
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Light a candle for them before a holiday meal.
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Hang an ornament with their name or photo.
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Set out their collar or a favorite picture in a special spot.
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Donate a blanket, toy, or bag of food to a shelter “in their honor.”
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Go to the shelter and spend time with a shelter dog.
The goal isn’t to make yourself sad, it’s to give your love somewhere to go.
3. Adjust Traditions Without Guilt
Some traditions might feel too painful this year. That doesn’t mean you’ll never enjoy them again. It just means you can adjust them for now.
Ask yourself:
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What traditions feel comforting right now?
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Which ones sting a little too much?
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Is there one new, gentle tradition I could try
For example:
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If you always took holiday photos with your dog, you might skip photos this year, or take one holding a framed picture of them.
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If you always hung a stocking for them, you could fill it with notes of your favorite memories or use it as a “donation stocking” for shelter supplies.
You get to design a version of the holidays that your heart can handle.
4. Talk Honestly With Your People (Big and Small)
If you have kids, family, or close friends around, it can help to say what’s really going on instead of pretending everything is fine.
My daughter noticed when I was moving a little slower and staring off into the distance. She asked if I was okay, and I simply told her, “I’m just really missing them.”
Kids pick up on so much more than we think, they’ll see the sadness on your face, so be ready to answer their questions with honesty and love.
Simple phrases like:
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“I’m really missing [pet’s name] tonight.”
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“It makes me a little sad to see their ornaments, but I also love remembering them.”
You’re also allowed to let people love you a little extra this season. You don’t have to carry it alone.
5. Remember That Joy and Grief Can Coexist
You’re allowed to enjoy parts of the holiday even while you miss your pet.
You can:
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Laugh at a holiday movie
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Eat something delicious
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Hug your people
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Admire the lights on the tree
…and still feel that ache when you see their old bed or favorite spot.
Grief and joy can sit at the same table. One doesn’t cancel out the other.
If all you manage this year is:
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A quiet night,
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A lit candle,
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A whispered “I miss you”…
that is enough.
We all know the holidays are when we tend to miss our family the most, of course that includes our furry family members. In many ways, we miss them even more; after all, our dogs are with us in the day-to-day moments more than most people are.
Your pet was loved. They’re still part of your story. And slowly, your heart will learn to carry both the pain of missing them and the gratitude for the years you had together, especially under the glow of holiday lights. 🐾✨
There is nothing wrong with you for still hurting. Let yourself remember them, smile through the tears, and be thankful that you were lucky enough to have a dog who captured such a big piece of your heart. In the end, that kind of love is one of the very best gifts we could have ever asked for.
